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Dec 5, 2011 • Our Problems Are Our Solutions. As I continue to teach and lecture among my colleagues around the world, I have become increasingly aware that most psychotherapists train and practice within a paradigm that sees patients’ problems as rooted in pathology. These therapists wait and watch for a symptom to see how it might fit into a a category of...
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Nov 27, 2011 • Sexual Desire in Therapy The newly released film “A Dangerous Method” tells the story of the complex relationship between Sigmund Freud and his much younger heir-apparent, Carl Jung, both early founders of the modern field of psychology. Freud and Jung came to represent differing schools of psychoanalytic thinking, a separation not only hastened by intellectual...
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Nov 21, 2011 • Sexual denial never succeeds and sexual desire can never be buried. Why do some of us choose to live without sex? What is the emotional cost of sexual abstinence to parts of our lives? The secret life story of former FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, a closeted gay man, told in the new Clint Eastwood bio-pic, tragically...
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Nov 14, 2011 • When is sex bad for you? Among mental health professionals, that question is hotly debated. Definitions of sexual pathology can range from sex that crosses legal lines to any form of sex involving humiliation or self-harm that leads to lowered self-esteem. And there’s just as much disagreement about what constitutes “compulsive” or “addictive” sex or even if such...
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Nov 8, 2011 • Regardless of gender, sexual fantasies are windows into our psyches. My daughter Alyssa, a psychotherapist in Portland, Oregon, knows me well enough to question and even challenge my thinking where other colleagues might not. Despite my thirty-six years of practice, Alyssa is able to introduce me to the latest scientific thinking and research and, with freshness and excitement,...
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Nov 1, 2011 • Brinking Sex Back Part Three: Crossing Conventional Boundaries Most of us, gay and straight alike, feel that having a life-long partner is preferable to going through life alone or with a series of affairs or short-term relationships. There is much in our culture that supports this notion, from the large number of tax benefits given...
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Oct 26, 2011 • Learning boundaries with an open relationship Part Two: Creating an Open Relationship The process of learning Intelligent Lust is not about immediate gratification. For those of us who follow the steps, sex matures as we discover the deeper subtleties of our own and our partners erotic desires. As past conflicts heal, desires can change, too. ...
