Stanley Siegel, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, author, international lecturer, and former Director of Education at New York’s renowned Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy. With over 45 years of experience, Siegel has developed an unconventional and highly regarded approach to psychotherapy. Stanley’s latest book, “Your Brain on Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life” is out now!
Masumbuko Kahubira says:
Aug 24, 2011
Please help me, what do I need to do:
I used to masturbate since 2001 and stopped significantly in 2008. after that i got into a relationship with a woman and I had no problems in sex except in my whole life, I have never ejaculated more than once. I have never repeated for the second round as may other men do. Now I am married to another woman. I can only ejaculate once and not able to repeat. I also feel worried that I will not be able to do it well and my wife will laugh at me. Lat week she asked me if I can go for more rounds and was a kind of emabassment that killed my desire as I worry that I will not make it. Please advice me what do I need to do to stop worrying and to be able to go for the second round? I feel like am not a man enough and this kills me psychologically. what is the acceptable number of times or rounds is considered normal? Please help me.
Sep 26, 2011
hi.I have read an article of you about meaning and purpose of desire.After i read this article,i must admit that the feelings of helplessness has made my life miserable especially after i reach adulthood and i think it is related to my childhood experience.The incidents that happened when i was a kid keep crossing my mind after years even though i try to ignore it.i am scared of my dad.i wish my mom was there every time my dad was shouting at me.i was alone and helpless.even though i am an adult now and my dad is old,that scary experience still makes me feared.
sometimes,i will fantasise to become submissive.i lack of confidence about myself and feel helpless everyday but there is nobody to help me.deep in my heart,i wish there is someone who will stand by me when i need help.i tried very hard to gain fully control over the things i am doing but it just made me exhausted.i feel scared everyday.can u please kindly tell me what is the best way to overcome this kind of feelings and situation?
thanks in advance.