Stanley Siegel, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, author, international lecturer, and former Director of Education at New York’s renowned Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy. With over 45 years of experience, Siegel has developed an unconventional and highly regarded approach to psychotherapy. Stanley’s latest book, “Your Brain on Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life” is out now!

Intelligent Lust
Fact or Fantasy: Men and Women Are Sexually Alike

Fact or Fantasy: Men and Women Are Sexually Alike

Regardless of gender, sexual fantasies are windows into our psyches. My daughter Alyssa, a psychotherapist in Portland, Oregon, knows me well enough to question and even challenge my thinking where other colleagues might not. Despite my thirty-six years of practice, Alyssa is able to introduce me to the latest scientific thinking and research and, with freshness and excitement,...
What We Can Do When Sex Leaves a Relationship: Making Sex Positive Choices

What We Can Do When Sex Leaves a Relationship: Making Sex Positive Choices

Brinking Sex Back Part Three: Crossing Conventional Boundaries Most of us, gay and straight alike, feel that having a life-long partner is preferable to going through life alone or with a series of affairs or short-term relationships. There is much in our culture that supports this notion, from the large number of tax benefits given...
What We Can Do When Sex Leaves A Relationship: Alternatives to Monogamy

What We Can Do When Sex Leaves A Relationship: Alternatives to Monogamy

Learning boundaries with an open relationship Part Two: Creating an Open Relationship The process of learning Intelligent Lust is not about immediate gratification. For those of us who follow the steps, sex matures as we discover the deeper subtleties of our own and our partners erotic desires. As past conflicts heal, desires can change, too. ...
What We Can Do When Sex Leaves a Relationship

What We Can Do When Sex Leaves a Relationship

What looks like the end can be the beginning PART ONE: Rediscovering Sexual Compatibility Sometimes when following the steps of Intelligent Lust, a couple discovers they are not sexually compatible. The differences in their true desires are far too wide to bridge. Even so, having a deeper understanding of the relationship may enable the couple...
Intelligent Lust: It's More than Just Great Sex,

Intelligent Lust: It’s More than Just Great Sex,

It’s Smart Sex. Step Six: Acting Out Sexual Fantasies If you’ve followed the steps of Intelligent Lust this far, by now you’ve gained an understanding of your true sexual desires and their meaning and purpose in your life. You may have even met someone with whom you share the likelihood of sexual compatibility and through...
Marrying For Sex

Marrying For Sex

How to find sexual compatibility Step 5 of Intelligent Lust:  Discerning Sexual Compatibility Just as we take into account such variables as personality, religion, family background, and education in choosing a perspective mate, sexual compatibility should be high on the list of considerations. Ideally, the process of self-discovery that takes place by following the steps...
Cracking The Code of Sexual Chemistry

Cracking The Code of Sexual Chemistry

Using sexual chemistry to guide you to the right partner Step 4 of Intelligent Lust: Cracking the Code of Sexual Chemistry We’ve all had the experience of seeing someone on the street or in a social setting and feeling an instant attraction. Our eyes lock, our pulse races, everyone else in the room disappears. Other...
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